Back in 2006, I went off the drink for a year. I wrote a blog about it - the first entry is HERE
I had kind of forgotten about my old blog until tonight when I read a post about the terrible murders of school children in Connecticut a couple of days ago. It brought back memories of when I lived in Dunblane, and I went searching for some of my writing. I wrote a few pieces on my experiences there for the Banbridge Chronicle at the time, but also wrote this on the tenth anniversary in 2006.
This then led me to read a lot of the other entries, some of which I laughed out loud at, some of which were absolutely mince, and some of which were pieces of writing I am still proud of.
The cool thing about reading this blog, besides reading about my Grandad as if he was here again and also reading about my son pre-Kevin and Perry stage, was the fact I am off the drink again. There are parallels of my present in my past... if that can be so...
I haven't had a unit of alcohol for two months (well, eight weeks this coming Wednesday!) One thing I am happy about is the fact I am determined to be off booze for good. I WILL drink again, but only on very special occasions. The other great thing about reading the old blog are the entries that tell of my craving. I don't have and havent had a craving for alcohol in the past two months.
I remember the year I gave up - I had become quite a heavy drinker. In fact that summer I know I had not had an evening during the school holidays in which I didn't have at least four cans of strong lager, and on other occasions including the day that made me finally feel I should give up, I had much much more. Ironically it was an inaugural meeting of a pro-Scottish independence group I was part of that was the final straw. I had drank a LOT of Stella Artois that day and the hangover lasted three days - at least the effects the session had on my body lasted at least that amount of time. It was also the summer of the G8 in Scotland and I drank a lot at the different demos (I remember having the worlds worse hangover at the big "Make Poverty History" event in Edinburgh. There are pics of me lying in the sun trying to sleep it off).
This time, I am not ending my relationship with booze over concern for how much I had been drinking. I wasn't really drinking that heavily. I just feel it is time in my life to let go of something that has been fun, and dangerous, and liberating, and unhealthy, and defining, and cold and fizzy and thick and red and depressing and painful and sorrowful and rapturous.
Time to accept me as me at all times. And for others to do the same, I suppose.
Sorry. I'll be boring.